Once upon a time there's this saying ...
“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson- (Thanks to Dinda for bringing up this issue!)
I wonder sometimes how to limit myself in doing anything. It can apply for work, education, daily routine, and even men... (sorry I don't use the word "boys" here.)
Let's say you've warned yourself to not involve much feeling with a person even though you two would spend much time together... It doesn't matter how you label it as "fun time", "temporary togetherness", "summer fling", or whatever you name it.
The thing is... how do you know when to hold back? Because most time, the next thing you know, you just get carried away... You've been overwhelmed temporarily for a particular time. You two have shared experiences and built memories. The worse part, you unconsciously let your feeling take part in it... or in other way, you're emotionally in it without you realizing in the first place.
People say things like "Out of sight, out of mind", that when that person is gone, then he or she would be out of your mind too. I guess that could be right. But still, how to deal with memories? How to deal with those goddamn reminiscences popping up in your head suddenly, and let you flash back what was going on back then? For the answer, I believe that in order to deal with experiences, I guess we must see the bigger picture, that it's all coming to complete the whole puzzle of your life. I believe if people see the bigger picture of anything, there'll be less people on earth hate others and there'll be more people to make peace with themselves.
Well I'm a person who believes in such spirituality ( having coherent believes about higher purpose, the meaning of life, and the meaning of universe) that beyond this concrete world, there's another powerful universe above there. Some call it "Goddess", "Karma", "Universal Law", "Spirit" and I call it "God". I believe that everything happens for reasons. That God has set me up meeting some people and conditions because every people & conditions coming to my life must have special deep lessons for me to learn.... that makes me better, because life means developing.
Perhaps, no matter you realize it or not, CHANGE IS THE ONLY CONSTANT.
People, things, even weather keep changing- whether you like it or not. We cannot force some people or things to remain the same as they used to be. Sometimes it's just us that need to adjust with the new conditions... therefore it is true that we once attach, and the next time we detach. That's how it goes. (Psst I am not talking about the marriage life here, it's not my capacity to write how it would be for husband and wife to keep the marriage-life all the way and remain the same person that each fall in love with. I believe in once-in-a-life-time-monogamous- marriage. Maybe they'd unite and be seen as one body, so it's them that facing the changing surroundings. Still, I guess I'm way way way too young to figure that out... )
So in the time being, I think it is best for me to enjoy and taste life! Life can somehow spoil you til you forget how to wake up and let go... That's the harsh part but if it was for me, since I am no a quitter, I would like to play the fields! =)