Friday, December 11, 2009


Have you ever been in a fear that you might not be able to fall in love again?
I know that sounds crazy eh?
But chances are, after the break-up with your last ex, you do move on, you met different people, some might tell you about their feeling for you... but what if you do not have the same feeling back?

then I go solo for a while until now...

Looking back to my ex, the total of girlfriends he had since the break-up is around FIVE OR SO.. And me? Logically and sensibly, I didn't involve in any romantic relationship like a girlfriend-boyfriend do since... December 2007, two f*cking years ago. But I have to be thankful for I had these two years such a BLAST! Right after my break-up I could be so free to do anything 'til now. I almost have anything I want so far. =)

Then when it comes for love life, if you were me, you might think "What's so wrong with me? Why couldn't I like those who'd love to be with me? or Why can't I just like those who like me?" Simple huh!
I cannot please everyone by doing something I do not like.
I learn that it is so OK to say NO.

Then you might realize that if you were me, you would see that you currently have such LOUSY love life. Hahaha! Pathetic eh? At least we can still admit it and laugh it off. Or at least... you still have some single friends to share with.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

LIFE: anything but ordinary,please!

Have you ever feel like you want such a real quick escapade from your daily routine and do something outside the box? You may think it's pretty impossible because you have stuck with these bloody assignment paper, campus occasion, or any other daily activities. I was that kind of person, until I happened to see my friend's Facebook page,Frederick, where he's been traveling alone from Canada (where he comes from) to Oceania. He takes a year off from university to travel. How easy is that,eh? Perhaps it is everyone's dream, and mine too! But, once more, it is the money that matters! Haha!

So I am kind of both excited and envious to see his adventurous pictures in Fiji (the first destination in Oceania before he heads to New Zealand and Indonesia-hopefuly) and he did not even know where to go first at the airport but only relying on the Fiji map. After getting lost once, and walking along the way he happened to meet such local people in the unknown village in Fiji which turned out to be so welcome and gave him anything he needed for survival that time. I started to learn that it can be really great if you just face the unknown.

Sometimes people are playing it too safe. They do not take risks. They feel their best on their comfort zones. This what makes them less experienced in dealing with what more life can offer. It is such a reflection for me, how sometimes I overlook what the life is and I just get drenched by the ordinary daily routine, gossiping with friends, doing something fun, or even thinking about lousy love life I have been living recently. (HAHA!)

So after seeing some of his pictures and reading each of the captions, I felt like I have traveled to Fiji without moving. I got carried away with the 'story' and when I managed myself back to this reality I started to even think "I want to be anything but ordinary!" I guess everyone should do too.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

People cannot simply judge others by pictures.

So.. my older brother in Semarang, Central Java, suddenly called me. He, who has just become a member of Facebook-ers in a month, kinda surprised to see some pictures of me in the occasion of Table Manner in Savoy Hotel last night, taking pictures with different guys and striking such poses which he thinks those make me look "cheap".

There are some points I make myself clear,
First, they are not just some kind of "random-different-guys", because they are all my friends. Yes my friends. The fact that I have got more male friends than the female ones since I was in high-school, makes me look tomboy or get used to be surrounded by guys, but still that does not mean I seem like "cheap", wow such a word my brother tried to tell me. Haha. I admit he might be still one of those conservatives people (but he has got Facebook now. Oh well.)

Second, there was no such pictures I hugged or did some kind of impolite poses...They are all normal pictures with normal people. Even my friends tell me the pictures are just FINE. Though there is one or two when I was the only girl around the guys, but hey, haven't I told you that they were all my friends?!

Third, I start to think that I do not give a damn what people may think of me just because they see my pictures, any pictures of mine. People cannot simply judge someone by the pictures, they have to know and talk first intensely.

Then here comes a question through my mind: why is it just so unfair, boy can take picture with many different girls and their possibility to get the label of "cheap" or "gampangan" is much less than a girl taking picture with some different guys. Boooooo! If there's such word "Lady's man" then what should we call it for a girl... "Man's lady"?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

What makes Human Rights issue universal?

In this era of 21st century or particularly we can say the era of Post-Cold War, international communities are no longer facing merely traditional security matters, which mainly focus on state national security. There are more rising issues, such as gender equality, genocide, pandemic disease, food crisis, and even poverty (the classic problem that has come to the top of world’s major problem). Those global issues are more people-centered rather than state-centered, or as UNDP on its 1993 annual Human Development Report named it “human security” issues.[1] Since they directly relate to the people’s security as an individual, they cannot be separated from the term “human rights”, because any violation to human rights is considered as human security issue.

Since this sort of security is expected to cover safety “from chronic threats like hunger, disease, and political repression, as well as protection from sudden and hurtful disruptions in the patterns of daily life”[2], it is harder and more complex for a nation state to deal with human security problems than traditional security ones. However, more countries have put concerns on human security , it is proved by the establishment of Human Security Network by the end of 1999. This kind of issue has been more universal than ever. For example, “by the year 2000, Canada also had made human security the foundation of its foreign policy, defining it as ‘safety for people from both violent and non-violent threats … characterized by freedom from pervasive threats to people’s rights, their safety, or even their lives. Canadian diplomatic effort and foreign aid soon began to back the new emphasis with significant national resources. Other countries, ranging from Austria to Switzerland, followed suit.”[3]

This new shifting of priority from international actors to concern more on human rights, does rise a question: What makes this human rights become such international issue who attract more states’ attentions? Why should I care about a human right violation issue on a country that is miles away from my own country, since it has no any direct implication to my daily life? I would embark to find good reasons. I believe that human right is some kind of a bless for each individual to have by the time he or she was born to earth, this right is however a God’s gift for everyone to pursue his or her long term interest/purpose in this world. If I let any violation to human right happen anywhere, that would mean I someday might let anybody else to violate my own human right. In the sense of human right, we are no longer seen as Asian, Westerners, Arabian, etc, but we are one unity for the humanity values.

[1] United Nations Development Program, Human Development Report, 1993,

[2] Dan Henk, “Human Security: Relevance and Implications,” Parameters, Summer 2005, 94.

[3] Dan Henk, ““Human Security: Relevance and Implications,” 95.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

A great QUOTE about HOPE!

A friend of mine, Ajie, he once told me a great quote from the movie The Shawshank Redemption. Simple but meaningful!
To let us dare to never give up HOPE - as a light in the dark-


Andy Dufresne (The Shawshank Redemption)

Friday, September 25, 2009

Crazy Kinda Crush on Him! (there's no such empty hope right?)

I once asked God to let me feel butterflies on my stomach again.

I miss those butterflies on my stomach! I have been 'enjoying' my campus-life too much that sometimes I just forgot how it feels to fall for someone.

I asked Him to remind me to know how it feels when you like someone.

God is kind enough for He makes me feel this kind of feeling again: when you feel your heart beats so fast just to hear his name, when feel nervous just to say “Hi!” if you happen to meet him by accident, when you feel insecure how you look if he sees you, when you just want to have more and more conversation with him via Yahoo Messenger, when you regularly check his Facebook just to make sure if he is still available, when you feel your heart beat faster to see his beautiful eyes, when you insanely search excuses to exchange your phone numbers with his, when you are on the bleachers loyally watching him plays sport, and when you want to fold him into pieces and put him in your pocket just so he won’t go anywhere but near you.

Stupid isn’t it?

It is.

Now it all leads to a question: Am I obsessed, infatuated or delirious?

I sing all the crush-songs all the way, but I wonder if he would feel what I feel too. So cliché, but it does happen to me.

Should I be thankful for God has let me feel this so-called-crush feeling or Should I blame God for giving me this feeling that cause me hard to focus, because every time I daydream, it’s him that I think about?!

I wonder whether the Law Of Attraction truly exists, that if you strongly believe in something to happen to you, the universe would deliver it to you. If so, then will he possibly feel that in other part of his world there’s someone who madly think about him? Someone who would take care of him sincerely, if only he realizes that they perfectly suit together.

I think there is nothing to lose, just to believe the Law Of Attraction.

God, please, if You allow me to even try to be with him, lead me to the ways closer to him. If You don’t think he’s good enough for me, then help me to kill this feeling please?

What is the use of an empty hope?

But I guess that is not a wise way to say a feeling as an empty hope, since there is no such empty hope. I think it is the mysterious bumpy process that makes it all worth to learn in the end, regardless you end up to get what you want or not.

One more time, it’s the lesson learnt that matters.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

what's wrong with DORA-look hair?!

I've got my hair-cut last Sunday. I hadn't planned it before. SO I was just having creambath-treatment when my parents also got foot-massage in that salon and I thought it would be a good idea to have a hair cut.

SO far so good, til the barber cut my long bangs and he kept cutting it over and over again! Hah, and it used to be one-side bangs til he cut it too short so now ...
the bangs I have is the one like Dora The Explorer does.

Actually I felt it was still all OK til I got to campus the next day and the bangs did attract attentions *sigh* Some liked it and some don't, frankly said, most of my friends do not like it.. BUT WHO CARES? Haha!

But there is one thing I hate with this bangs, when it doesn't cover my forehead, it would just look like a piano (the black & white tuts) on my forehead!

Does anyone know if there's any hair extension for bangs only? :-P

Saturday, September 12, 2009

how much does FASTING matter?

I was in a public transportation (angkot) when I heard the driver shouting to another angkot driver, expressing his anger. It was quiet irritating however, for me as the passenger who had enough such hectic day and I must hear this kind of ‘public anger’. That time, I thought to myself, “Isn’t it Ramadhan month,and particularly he’s on the fasting season, right? Isn’t he supposed to handle his anger better?”

Well I am not a Muslim, but I’ve been growing in a surrounding that most of the neighbors are Muslim. All I know about this fasting season is that beside the physical resistance to food during the day, each must take control and hold back his or her most-likely-to-do bad habit. For example, high-tempered people try to deal with their anger-management.

The other day, I was having a dinner with a Muslim friend of mine when I saw him smoking. Then I asked him “Why are you still smoking? Isn’t it still in the fasting season?” He relaxingly answered “But it’s at night right? I am not currently doing the fasting”. That was the point when we started to have a little debate about what to do and what to not do during fasting. I personally think that fasting season should be the best moment to train our patience and positive-attitudes and also to resist from our bad habit, not just from morning to dusk but in every second the whole day.

One day my friend telling me that her laptop was robbed in her house. I was so shocked that time and I asked her “But it’s Ramadhan month right? Aren’t people supposed to be good in order to prepare Lebaran?” And she just gave me simple answer… “Devils never sleep.”

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

The 5th Semester & Tom Cruise Inspiration


It's been 3 weeks since the new semester started. The courses has been more interesting than the previous ones, at least so far. There would be more English classes available and this semester, Unpar is lucky enough to have two foreign professors teaching here: an Australian and an American.I haven't met the latter, but his name is quiet famous among us who just started to question where he was.. Bradley Simpson.

Hukum International
Politik Bisnis Internasional
Teori Hubungan Internasional
US Global Politics
International Relations in Asia Pacific
International Politics
Foreign Policy
NGO and Civil Society

Those are my courses for this semester. I once questioned "Am I capable enough in handling those 8 subjects, with Protocol of PRAKDIP to handle, plus External duties?" (Talking about External, I have got this awesome members to be in the team. I love'em! Haha!)

Yes I was once being doubtful, then I saw the other students take also 24 credits (8 subjects) and I remember what Tom Cruise said that if you only do what you think you can do,you'll never do very much!

OHH... YEAH, I think Mr.Cruise got the point!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

"Jai Ho" song & Excursion Study 2010

OK this is such stupid argument, but by listening to "Jai Ho" song (the OST of Slumdog Millionaire, performed by The Pussycat Dolls) recently kind of making me more often think of India, as an idea to be destination for the next Excursion Study in 2010. 

Well as the head of External Division for Association of I.R. Students of Parahyangan Catholic University for 2009-2010, I need to think and decide with my members (which I haven't fixed them yet) any destination for Excursion Study as one of the main program of External Division. 

But WHY INDIA??? By the time I am writing it, the External Division 2008-2009 are on the way to Turkey for Excursion Study this year-except me, who do not go this year due to the money reason. I would love to pick any country that seems unique and any destination that people would less likely to visit for a holiday-unlike European countries where people seem to easily visit there for even no specific reason. India is still in Asia too,this would make the flight fare a bit more affordable. India also has several Catholic Universities,that we can compare with the ones in Indonesia. As the second largest populated country after China, India sure has got its own typical culture in social aspect, I feel curious about its culture and its distinctive type of people (we can easily distinguish the Indian people from other right?!) The ethnic and classic building also available there,in India: the modern futuristic buildings and the classic ones seem to gather together there,especially in Delhi and of course, in Agra there lays one of the seven wonders in the world : Taj Mahal. 

The good news is that my Dad has approved my plan for India in 2010! I talked to him at dinner and I asked his opinion between India and Egypt, but he supported me more on India. (Oh God,thanks for giving me such understanding parents! I hope You do support me on this plan too.) Well at least, he has approved me to go abroad (again!!! Yess!-considering the fact that this year of 2009, I do not notice myself just yet to go abroad) next year with our own money for Excursion Study. Let's see then if India is still be the main candidate for destination of Excursion Study in 2010, oh I need like FIXED MEMBERS already for External Division as soon as possible,so I could have people to discuss with. 

related picture sources:

Monday, May 25, 2009

I need particularly patience, trust and money..and love?

It is 2.22pm, in the gloomy Monday,of May 2009.

I am sitting in front of my MacBook,just being alone in my lovely blue room,with the high-volume Britney Spears' songs. Tired after attending a diplomacy practice held by UNPAD in Gedung Merdeka with Nayana, I feel like want to rest my head on my pillow, but somehow I feel deprived. 

I wonder what it is that I miss,it's not the usual me,I can enjoy my me-time and this time I feel like totally alone... Most of people I know,they have gone to their original cities and I am left here,still in Bandung. First,because I need to manage some stuff with External division, and some so-called-sudden occasion (like today! HAHA). Second, I think I need to figure out what I am going to do in June... whether it is I am going to my hometown to improve my driving skill,taking up a German course, or taking up a TOEFL class. 

Actually, what do I really need now??
PATIENCE! Oh yeah! I can't wait to have the permanent members of my External team, I still need to figure out 2 more people again. But it will be next week I will have this certainty, I hope this 2008 student would be one of my team members though. 
TRUST! I need to gain trust from some 2007 members just to make sure that my decision to choose them is right. 
MONEY! Hell yeah! I have been so wasted this month..HAHAHAHA! 
I bought many stuff this month: 
  • two pairs of SALE crocs
  • a gorgeous white bag @ BTC
  • a cute yellow blouse @ BTC
  • a GOGIRL magazine (because there was an article about my smart friend,Raisa,and there was enclosed a pic of me and her!)
  • second-hand clothes @ Gede Bage: a white blazer and a shirt.
LOVE?I do not know,I am surrounded by loving friends...I think that's so cool though sometimes I gotta admit that I want someone I can call my own and the worse part is I miss to feel those kinds of butterflies in my stomach whenever I see someone, something I rarely find myself to happen. The two previous posts about the two different boys that I kinda liked, but now I wonder whether it was just a fling or just my imagination... 

Saturday, May 23, 2009

'Coz we both heart you, "cokiber"!

"Dev Dev,sini deh ada rahasia..." begitu Happy memanggilku setelah foto session Himpunan.
..... (pembicaraan,kan td dibilangin rahasia,jadi ya gak bisa dipublish disni) 
bbrp menit berikutnya,

"Hah seriusan lo Hep?" tanyaku tak percaya, "Gue juga Hep!" dan kita pun tertawa bersama serta saling memberikan alasan kenapa tuh cowo kita jadikan 'cokiber' a.k.a cowo kita bersama..

  1. Ganteng
  2. Ganteng
  3. Ganteng
  4. Lucu
  5. Baik hati
  6. Tidak sombong
  7. Tajirrrr!
AHH,stiap pembicaraan rapat yg judulnya "Hasil Screening" slalu adaaa aja yg diomongin ttg tu orang! Ohhh! Sampe barusan aja,lihat2 foto2 tu orang d Facebook nya sambil saling berkomentar satu sama lain (antara aku dan Happy,dimana kita berdua sepakat,sgla sesuatu yg ada minus dalam diri tu cwo bakal kita maafkan! Haha.) dimana ada foto dya diapit oleh tiga cewe yang kami sebut "genit dan centil"! 

Penasaran, gua lihat2 nih wall2 di FB tuh cwo,hahaha ternyata dia baru wall2an sama temen baik nya yg berjenis kelamin perempuan dan ohh I WISH I WAS HER! ARghh! 

Ahh,,,ada2 aja yha! Tapi seru loh ternyata kalo lo ngecengin seseorang bareng temen lo sendiri,bisa saling update kabar ttg si cwo itu dan sama2 membenci cewe manapun yang dekat2 dgn nya! Hidup our "cokiber" !!! 

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Those Beautiful Eyes Smiled..

Those beautiful eyes ...

so real,
... as if they smiled =)

How could not I realize that those beautiful eyes were there..
Was it because the hair took over the whole face scheme? 
Oh, such a refreshment for meeting those beautiful eyes
particularly after having such creepy sleepless night because of exams.

Can I meet those beautiful eyes more often in the future?
Or is it just me who overreact? 
Ahh! Here it comes again... uncertainty,
such my loyal companion when it comes to Mars creatures.
Should I carry on and hope,
or should I just let it go,as the wind blows...? 

I just want to see those smiling beautiful eyes, again. 

Monday, May 18, 2009

79? I am not satisfied. I want an A!

Just hours ago,Diandra and Andit told me that the scores for Global Modernity and Nation-Sates subject has came out, that our beloved Dutch teacher,Roy Voragen, has sent us email containing each of our scores. I was so hurried to see the email, and TA DA...2007330013 (which is my student number) enlisted to get 79 for final score! 

I do not know whether I should be happy for I have increasing my score compared to the score before mid-semester, or I should be upset because it is SEVENTY NINE,which is hello... so-damn-almost A! Why on earth didn't he just give me an A?! 
I guess I have improved my performance on this subject:
  1. I never skipped any classes
  2. I always did my homework, but I once submitted it late because I just forgot to hand it to the lecturer, but in this case I meant I ALWAYS TRIED TO MAKE IT ON TIME
  3. I participated actively during the class
  4. I did well on my presentation, that was when I made this "revolutionary way" in presenting my essay by using this media of large paper where all the key words of my essay written, and it turned out after that, the others got inspired and use the overhead projection (which is better and more efficient that what I did! Haha!) 
  5. I tried to come on time for this class. Ok then I need to admit, I once in a while made it to class on straight at 16.30, which Roy thought we should have been at class before 16.30.
Feeling I deserve more than 79 (OH GOSH, why is it just so hard to get additional 1 point for making it 80?), I sent my lecturer an email, saying: 

Hi Roy! 
First I'd like to say thank you for you have done such quick process in managing our UAS and scores. Frankly said, I am not satisfied with the score I got, even though I think I made such progress compared to what I did before UTS. OR can you suggest me what should I improve for the sake of my self-actualization? So I can learn from it and do better for next classes. Thanks.

and some minutes after, here an email from him, replying mine: 

Hi Devi,
I agree that you made good progress, but it started just a little late to justify an 'A' (to compare: last year 79 was the highest end score). It is good to be unsatisfied with the grade I gave you, but I can only suggest you to keep up the hard work, i.e. read more, so you learn from other authors' writing styles and ways of making an elaborate argument (you have to learn to elaborate, do not make a shortcut to a conclusion, but spell out all assumptions and pros and contras without using informal language, e.g. 'stuff').

"HAHAHA ok then! I got it. " I said, after done reading it. 
Well at least I've tried to tell him what bothered me in mind and I am happy that he got it all explained.

Deviana, the best damn thing


In the middle of "don't-know-what-to-do" time, I am making this blog.. It is not the first time I have a blog,in fact I once made one in 2006 but oh well that was such a past and I lost it ... 

Well actually I should have been studying for tomorrow's final exam on Middle East and North Africa subject,but I just do not have this spirit within first to study, or is it because there was no any classes for that subject for two months (since the teacher had got to go to Europe for master-degree stuff) or is it just me who is being lazy? 

Anyway I am encouraged by my lecturer, Roy Voragen, and my friends Ria Deniska, Fajar Ajie Setiawan who have already owned blogs, you guys inspire me though to write more on blogs, and hell yeah I do think that we all should convey our desire in writing than just Facebook-ing. 

Deviana, the best damn thing.